Me, myself, and Edward
by mrs.edwardcullen418
Summary: Edward&Bella go to Twilight High in New York City. They are friends but want to be more. Edward is kind of ....girly.... and so Emmett his roomate is giving him BAM be a man lessons. Alice is helping bella get Edward. Like perverted things? READ
1. The tighter the better

EdwardPOW

"I want to take our relationship to the next level." I said to my brother Emmett.

"Ok, here we go again with the Bella thing. Come sit down and I'll give you the sex talk again. Ok, you must remember that you can only have "it" when you two are alone. Publicly displaying s--"

"Oh gosh... I know about THAT... its just..." I broke off.

I was too embarrased. I did't want Emmett to make fun of me again. I didn't want him to know that I was scared if I pushed "it" IN, I won't be able to take it OUT.

"oh... you're scared Bella doesn't want to. Don't worry... she's a real slut. You probably can't see it because you're so in love, but I can see. When Bella is next to you, it's like she wants to pounce on you then and there. She's like a wild tiger, bro. You beter watch out. Grrrrrrrrr!"

"I wish..." I thought...

You see, Bella is a friend of mine. I met her in school last year, just after I moved to New York. And about three months after we met, I finalily told her that I was a vampire. She didn't seem to mind, but I don't think she really wnaats to be more than just friends.

"You know what, bro? You need to go out there and present yourelf! Like those baggy clothes you wear... Thats a no-no. These days girls like skinny jeans in which they can see your buttocks squeezing and releasing. You know? Watch the movement... You need to give Bella a chance to see you like that. If she hasn't seen your butt, she hasn't seen you!" Emmett smiled as he said this, and I knew he was up to something.

"Emmett, you are so freakin' perverted! Since when have you become such a girl expert?" I asked.

"I 'm pretty smooth with the ladies, ya know? Here, I'll prove it to you. You know those two cute cheerleaders in out health class? Well, I'm gonna call them now and meet them in front of New York Park. Then I'm gonna ask them out... I'll bet you 100 bucks they will say yes."

"Sure." I chuckled. No damage to be 100 richer."

BellaPOV

"I want sexyback... yeah..."

I was so bored, I was actually listening to Justin Timberlake's Sexyback. But, no matter how hard I try, my mind always goes back to Edward... I just can't help it.

"Hey Bella." My sister (she's adopted) Alice said merily as she came in.

"Thinking about Edward again huh? Wow, Bella, you are so desperate. But Edward so likes you."

Alice went to sut off the boombox that was still playing Sexyback.

"Justin Timberlake? Come on, Bella! You know who's my favorite singer? Corbin Blew. And that song, Push it to the limit? That's just genius."

"Why? How?" I asked confused.

"Can't you see, Bella? He's trying to deliver a secret message to you. You know 'it'? He means his 'thingy' and 'push it' means SHOVE IT IN!!

"Ew, Alice, pervert!" I don't remember Alice always being this perverted...

"I just can't beleive Disney would let Corbin sing such a song. They were probably too dumb to notice." Alice shrugged like THAT was possible.

"Alice, Corbin probably didn't even mean it that way."

"Oh, yes he did"

"Hey lets go take a walk in the New York Park." I suggested just to change the subject."

"yeah, lets go."


	2. Hello Kitty Undies

EmmettPOV

"Ladies. Come meet me and Edward at the park right now. I've go to ask you two something." I flipped my cell shut. Edward needed some tutoring from his bro and I'm 100 there for him.

"Emmett, please don't make a fool of yourself". Edward told me, looking genuinely concerned.

"Don't doubt the pro." I answered. And I wasn't lying. Well, there is really no point of lying around Edward anyways since he can read everyone's mind. Except for Bella's. How convenient.

While Edward and I were walking to the park, we basically didn't talk until the very end. The air was cold, which was odd on a summer's day. I was excited to show Edward my pro skills, but I kept my mouth shut. This is because I was daydreaming about how cute that cheerleaders was. We were in the pool, and she was wearing a white swimsuit... and then its really really thin... and she goes into the pool and everything is just SHOWN. I cradle her up in my arms and then I rip off her top and then I see this beautiful--

But suddenly, Edward just had to interrupt my beautiful daydream with the most randomist question.

"Emmett, do you find yourself sexually appealing?"

"uhh... Ofcourse. You see, I have these abs of steel. I swear, once girls see them, they can't stop from touching them."

"Is that why you always think you look better without a shirt?"

"yes... I guess and also, my nipples turn different colors each day. Like on monday its red, on tuesday its orange, etc etc."

"ok.. emmett, to much info there. But i'm curious, do you find ME sexually appealing?"

"Look Ed... you are like my little brother... well, you ARE my little brother. So, please don't ask me these questions because I honestly don't know. And If I find you sexually appealing, then that would mean I was gay, and I'm not."

"Okay, okay. I'll just ask the girls that YOU are gonna ask out. Wait, in our health class... it isn't B--"

EdwardPOV

"Hey Ladies" Emmett said.

I nearly had a heart attack. There, right in front of me, was Bella standing with her best friend Alice. Bella was wearing a halter with a short miniskirt and Alice was wearing a tanktop with short jeans shorts. Wait, am I supposed to know how to call this?? Well, I admit, I've been to Victoria Secret a couple of times. Gosh, I have to get Emmett bras. Its not my problem he has moobs (man boobs).

"So, Bella, I love your T-shirt.." Emmett took a step toward Bella while saying this.

"It's a halter!" Bella and I answered at the same time. We looked at each other, and I think she smiled. My heart melted.

"So, Edward, Alice slinked toward me. I heard that you were a playboy. I think we should go out sometime, you know? Have some fun." She smiled slyly.

"Alice, I'm really not a playboy. And I really DO NOT like that idea."

I shook my head. This Alice girl is such a slut. Unlike my Bella. I flashed Bella another smile.

"Hey, hey. Girls. Right now, Edward is just the student. I am the teacher here. What I wanted to ask you is-"

I cut him off. I just had to.

"Do you find me sexually appealing?" I asked.

All three of them stared at me with their mouths open.

Alice was the first to recover.

"Ofcourse Edward, you sexy, slutty, baby, cute, muscular, hot boy!"

Bella lowered her head as she said.

"I always thought you were, Edward."

EmmettPOV

I couldn't beleive it. I was supposed to be the teacher and there the girls were talking about how sexy Edward was. I could tell that Edward was suprised to. Woah, his lips were so chapped!! I reached into my backpack to get him a water bottle that I brought.

"Thanks." Edward said, taking the bottle from my hand and drinking the water.

"No problem."

"Edward, I think your thing is sticking out." Alice cooed.

Edward was so scared he spilled the water all over his pants.

"No not THAT thing, I mean your hair." Alice said again.

It was obvious that she wanted Edward to react the way he did.

"Oh, Edward. Let me take those pants for you and dry them. Here c'mon boy. Take them off."

Edward stared I me. I didn't know what to do.

Just take them off. I said to him in my mind. He, ofcourse read it and started taking his pants off.

Just when they were half off, I knew I had made the wrong decision. You know why? Not because we were in the middle of a public park and Edward looked like he was stripping in front of two sexy girls. I knew I made the wrong decision because Edward's boxers were Hello Kitty!! Why do they even sell those things?

I looked at Edward and thought in my mind, "What the heck? hello Kitty? Hannah Montana would've been better than that!"

"I looked but there were absolutely NO Hannah Montana boxers!" He said outloud.

The girls were a bit taken back but still seemed to find Edward "sexually appealing" by the way they were looking at him.

When his pants were finally off, Edward handed them to Alice and instead of drying them, she threw them into a pond nearby.

EdwardPOV

"So Edward, whats next? Shirt or undies? I'd perfer undies if you know what I mean."

As soon as I registered what she was saying, I took off like a baby who just pooped in his pants. Wow, I would be able to read the minds of the girls and Emmett, but MY mind wasn't even working correctly. I wonder what they're thinking...

EmmettPOV

"OMFG!! What the heck. They were just about to have it, and there he goes?? What is his problem??"

BellaPOV

"God. Edward looks like... a god. And Hello Kitty? I totally have the same ones in girls wear!"

AlicePOV

"Oh yeah. Those boxers are just about to fall off..."

EmmettPOV

No matter how stupid my brother is, I'd better go after him. I took off not even wanting to look back at the girls.


	3. New Barbie Pants

Chapter 3

EmmettPOV

"WTH Edward?? What was that about?" I asked.

"Look, Emmett, I am not ready to face girls at this moment. I need to get a new pair of pants. Calvin Klein has new underwear. It's so soft. Just like a babies skin. Lets go to the mall."

"Edward, do you know what we sound like? 'soft as babies. Go to the mall' If I didn't know you, I'd think you were a girl!"

Edward didn't seem to care about my comment. He just looked like he wanted to go to the mall. No matter what, he was my brother, so I decided to go with him.

_4 hours later_

"_Oh, Emmett… Haha…you are hilarious." Alice giggled. She was all mine._

"_So Alice, do you want to go see DingDong Joe with me? I heard it's a very aggressive movie. You know what I mean."_

"_Sure Emmett, lets go!"_

"Emmett!! Emmett!! Wake up, I just found the perfect pair of pants. It fits just right and it even makes my waist slim."

I thought it was Alice talking to me, but when I opened my eyes, I saw Edward, modeling a tight-fitting aerobics pants which was meant for the opposite gendre.

"Edward! You seriously have no hope! Four hours, and THIS? You have GOT to be kidding me."

"What?" Edward asked.

EdwardPOV

Look at my legs in these pants, man! I can rock these like Hannah Montana rocks her skinny jeans. So what if its hot pink and has Barbies on it? It will only make me more sexually appealing

SalesLadyPOV

Ok, these two guys are really creeping me out. Well, I have to admit, they are attractive, but what's with the Barbie pants? And that guy on the chair has his zipper open… those pants are way too tight… well, I have to admit, it does slim his legs a bit…

EmmettPOV

"Edward, let's go. I'm getting really tired of this store. And you know what, we are the only guys here. Wait, let me rephrase that, I'm the only guy here."

I was getting really impatient. Edward spent four hours in a Limited Too store trying on Barbie pants while I had to suffer that stares of almost everyone around me. Especially that sales lady, she looked like she was really creeped out.

"Ok, Emmett. Let me just buy these pants. OOOO, look at these!! These are Q-U-TE!!"

Ok, now EVERYONE was officially staring at Edward who was pointing to a green mini-skirt with a big flower in the middle.

"Edward, buy the freakin' pants and lets go."

"Just let me try these on…."

I now realized that this day was never going to end…


	4. BAM

**To all my previous readers: Thank you so much for reading my story; I hope you like it. First of all, I'd like to say that I'm really sorry about not updating things for a while and I will update more often now. Also, due to your requests, I have decided to make Edward manlier in this chapter. READ AND LAUGH ******

EmmettPOV

As Edward finished his shopping trip, I finished my thinking. From now on, I'm going to give him BAM lessons (short for Be A Man. Clever huh?) whether he likes it or not. I mean he is my brother. I see that he really needs my help; especially if he wants to get that Bella girl.

"Edward... I have decided to do you a big favor."

"What?"

"I am going to be giving you...um... classes that will make you more... um... sexually appealing... yeah."

"Really? But I thought you said I already was."

"You...um...are... but there's no harm to be ever MORE sexually appealing."

Edward shrugged. "Ok."

Thank God I brought my list of more manly—I mean sexually appealing list of rules. I handed it to Edward. As he read the paper in his mind, I rethought of the rules that I had written

BAM rules

Loose the Barbie pants

Never go into girl stores like LIMITED TOO

Never take your shirt off in front of the other gender unless you have a six pack, eight pack, or sixteen pack. (and no Edward, stomach packs, not COKE packs)

Always listen to what EMMETT says, because remember, he is the expert.

Make sure that your hair does not grow longer than two inches orelse you will look like a hobo

TO BE CONTINUED...

Edward furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

"Emmett, are you sure these rules work? Because I have never seen them before. Out of all the books I've read... Girls for Dummies, How to get a girl in 10 days, Girls, they're just like us..."

"Edward. Listen. To. Me. I am sure it will work. OK?"

"Anything that will make me more sexually appealing."

"Ok..."

I stared at Edward for a second.

"Now, first of all. We have GOT to find you a new wardrobe. I can't believe I'm saying this, but we're going shopping. NOW."

"YAY!"

"Never say yay."

"Oppsie Doopsies"  
"Never say that either. Seriously Edward. Can anyone me more girly?"

Edward POV

We finally reached the mall after Emmett explained to me what those BAM rules meant. I can't WAIT to go to limited too. Wait... isn't that I rule that I can't go there again? Oh no.

"Emmett. I think that I look very sexually appealing in Limited Too clothes so..."

"NO. NO. NEVER. Don't even THINK about it."

"Ok. Ok."

Jeez. Emmett can be so stubborn sometimes.

"Edward, just follow me."

I walked into an unfamiliar section of the mall and Emmett went inside of ABERCROMBIE and FITCH. Oh god. The lights are so dim. I'm scared of this store. I stopped in front and debated whether to go in or not.

_If I go in, I get mobbed by perfume-toxic too-tan girls who wear nothing but 1 millimeter of clothing…._

_If I don't go in, I can maybe sneak into LIMITED TOO…_

_Hm…_

Before I could decide, Emmett grabbed my hand and pushed me in the store. The smell of Abercrombie perfume filled my nostrils as I walked inside the store. It was packed! I always knew that Abercrombie was popular, but still…

Before long, Emmett had returned with a pile of clothing that looked like a trash dump. As we waited in line for the changing room, I spotted a familiar lean girl with brunette hair in the girls section… No… it can't possibly be…

Finally it was my turn. Emmett pushed the door open and I followed him inside. All of a sudden I heard a scream. Emmett just bumped into a girl wearing nothing but a bra and…. Hello kitty boxers?

I was just about to say that I have the same one when Emmett grabbed my hand once more and pulled me toward the changing next changing room. But, someone stopped him.


	5. A&F or Limited Too?

**Okay guys, due to some complications in my story, I'm going to say that after Chapter Three and Before Chapter Four of this story, Edward's mind reading ability is taken away. The reason why and how it is taken away I'll leave for you to imagine. I will tell you when it comes back to Edward. **

Cahpter 5: At the Mall

Edward POV

"Bella? BELLA?!!!" I screamed.

"Edward! What are you doing in A&F? Do vampires like Abercrombie?"

"shhhhh!!" Emmett hushed at us.

Then he noticed that the person I was talking to ( or more likely screaming at) was Bella.

"Wait, Bella? Hey, I'm glad we ran into you. But seriously, I need Edward to myself today. I'm… uhhh…. Giving him a……"

"He's making me more sexually appealing!" I cut Emmett off. He couldn't find the right thing to say anyway. And plus, I wanted Bella to know.

Emmett shook his head.

"Okay look," he said "I know you lovebirds just want to drop and do it, but you need to resist the temptation for now or at least I can get Edward to be…. More….. like a guy." He finished.

"Sure," Bella replied.

"I gotta leave anyway. See you soon Edward."

And with that she waved and walked out of the store.

As soon as Bella was gone, Emmett pushed me into the dressing room and pulled my shirt off.

Emmett POV

I've never seen Edward naked. Or even half naked. And now, I know that I wasn't missing out. Edward, like all us vampires, is very white. But unlike us, he had a little "bulge" if you no what I mean (Note: No, Edward is not pregnant. He just needs a little workout...) Plus, his chest hair was like a jungle. Okay, this BAM thing was going=2 0to take more time than I thought. It was Saturday, I probably needed to spend the entire weekend with Edward. And on Monday….. it's time for him to impress the girls, baby!

"Edward, you seriously need some abs, dude!" Edward bit his lip.

He looked sad, so I changed the subject, although I knew that I would have to bring it up some other time.

_After the mall is the gym._

I made a mental note to myself.

"Edward, hurry up. We don't have much time! Get your pants off, and these pants on!"

I ordered.

I held a pair of low rise Abercrombie jeans and told him to put it on. Edward took off his pants to reveal Hannah Montana boxers. _Oh boy. I thought he said he couldn't find those! _

Second mental note:

_Next stop: Calvin Klein._

Edward slipped on the jeans. He then put on a white polo that complimen ted his skin color.

"Stand over there." I pointed to the furthest corner from me in the dressing room. Edward went and stood where I pointed. I surveyed him, my head tilting side to side. He looked good. This was the first step in making Edward manlier. I mean, Edward was definitely not bad looking, he was VERY good looking at the very least, and he just had to step up his game.

"Okay, we're getting these." I said.

Edward tried on several more jeans/shirts, and they were all better than his clothes.

After we were done, we went to pay for the clothing.

Sales20Lady POV

"Hey guys, how's shopping so far?" I asked. Two hotties, I mean like EXTRA HOTTIES were buying clothes here, and I was their checkout lady!

"Good," The taller, more muscular one replied.

"We just need to get some stuff."

Then, he piled layers and layers of clothing on my desk.

"This is going to take a while." I thought "Oh well, more time with cute guys!"

=0 A

I checked out super slowly so I had time to talk to them. Maybe ask for their number…..

Emmett POV

I was trying to listen to the sales lady blabber on and on about shopping and her job and whatever but I was actually thinking about if I should take Edward to get a hair cut first or the gym.

_Haircut. Gym can wait._

I thought. Yes, Edward did need a haircut. Maybe a little coloring. I mean, Edward's hair would look so much better if it was just a lighter shade of brown….

=0 A

I turned to Edward to see just what color would fit his hair the best. But, he wasn't there. I looked around the entire store, and he wasn't there. Where could he be?

I cut off the sales lady and asked her,

"Hey, do you know what happened to my friend? He was just right here."

"Wait, what? I didn't see anything."

She scanned the last of the clothing, very slowly might I add, and then put then all in eight bags f or me to carry. I thanked her and ran out of the store. Where could Edward be? I asked myself again. Then, it hit me,

_Limited Too._

He must be there. I ran down the escalator and entered the store.

And there he was. Sitting there in the corner of the store, reading a Hannah Montana book. The sales lady was eyeing him with weird looks.

"Edward! I told you!" I screamed.

I pulled him out of the st ore.

"Sorry, sorry. It was there, and, I just couldn't resist." He answered. I grabbed his arm, threw the book back into the store, and pulled him to Calvin Klein.

**I know this chapter wasn't THAT funny, but I just needed to get on with the story. I know what is supposed to happen next, but I want to put a fun twist into the story. So, I'm going to ask you. Do you want Edward do completely transform into some hunk and get Bella, or for the BAM operation to completely fail? Please give me some other suggestions if you have any. TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT TO HAPPEN, AND I MIGHT JUST INCLUDE IT IN THE STORY! Thank you and enjoy [: **


	6. CK

Chapter 6

Edward POV

I felt kind of guilty. I mean, although Hannah Montana is awesome, Emmett is just trying to do what's best for me and I guess I've kind of not listened to him. I let him drag me to Calvin Klein. I made a promise to him and myself that I would listen to him for the rest of the day.

Emmett POV

Edward seriously needs help. I mean, he is probably the girliest un-gay guy I've ever seen, and the sad thing is, if he tried, all the chicks would be after him. But then again, some of the chicks already were and I have absolutely no idea why. We entered Calvin Klein. I remembered Edward's size and got 10 pairs of white underwear for him.

_Wow, that's soft! _I thought to myself. I'll grab a pair for myself if I have time. The entire time, Edward followed me obediently, probably sensing that I was mad at him even if he lost his mind reading skills.

"Edward, I want you to wear one of these" I handed him the underwear, "and this shirt and these jeans okay? Go to the dressing room and change and throw the rest of your clothes inside the toilet or something. But seriously, I never want to see them again. Do I make myself clear? Now go change and I'll pay for these." I instructed him.

Edward walked into the dressing room to change. After I paid in the cash register, I went to the dressing room to see if he was ready.

"Edward?"

"Hold on…. Okay, I'm done."

He came out. He looked so much better. Seriously, at that moment, I think, I almost fell for him. But then I remembered two reasons why that could NEVER happen. First of all, he's my freaking brother. I mean seriously, that's just wrong. And secondly, I'm not gay. And believe me, even if Edward was secretly gay, I'm not so it could never happen. Why am I thinking about this anyway? Then, I couldn't help it. A mental picture of me and Edward getting married flashed in my brain (he was the one in the white dress thank you very much) EW. EW. EW.

Edward probably saw the disgusted look on my face.

"Does it look bad?" he asked.

"No, no. You look much better. Now, let's go get your hair done." I answered quickly.

I knew there was a hair salon nearby. It was pretty expensive, but I knew it would be worth the money if it helped Edward. I grabbed Edward's hand and half-dragged him to the hair salon.


	7. Phillipee Rosalie

**For obvious reasons, the next chapters will be different from the first chapters in two ways. First of all, it will be entirely in Emmett's POV. I know you guys love EDWARD, but I think that his "makeover" would be more effective if taken on another person's standpoint, especially the one who is giving the makeover. Because of this, the next chapters will be told from Emmett. Also, in the next chapters, I will be focusing on Edward and Edward only so Bella and Alice are going to take a little break from my story. But don't be worried, they will come back! Enjoy. **

Chapter 7

Emmett POV

"eellloo Mistuurrr Cullen my deahs, whaaahhht can I do for you today?" Philippe, the hairdresser, asked.

I never thought that my favorite hair dresser was working at this barber shop. I've had my hair cut and styled by him for years and I was always very happy with the results. Although this Italian man might be a little bit …. Strange…. I guess you could put it that way, he had talent. And this was not a bad time to use it.

"Philippe! Thank god you're here! Okay, so as you can see, Edward needs a serious cut. His hair is getting way too hard to handle."

Edward gave Philippe a lopsided grin.

"Hey Philip."

"No Philip, es Philipeeee with ah EEEE!"

Edward nodded. Of course he had never seen Philippe before. Edward always cut his hair himself. That seriously needed to change.

"Aye yah yaye yaye! Tsk tsk tsk! That hair es no good! I shall help yahh."

Edward stared at his hair in the mirror. He apparently couldn't find anything wrong with it.

"Ohhh kayy, you sitt dawwnnn mahh deeahh. I must ahhskk yahh brother whahhhtt ii will do fuhh you today. Relax. Look at ddaa hot babes in da magazines. Britney Speahhss doesn't look half bhhadd."

Edward stared at the magazines.

"Wait do you have the special Hanna-"

Edward must've seen the killer look I gave him and stopped in the middle of the "word." He then pretended to be engrossed in the Britney Spears magazine that Philippe was talking about.

Philippe led me to the small room in the back of the high classed barber shop. In the room, there were different colors of brown shades. I immediately knew what they were for. EDWARD'S HAIR. I looked around and picked a sort of honey-brown color. I handed it to Philippe.

"This will do." I muttered.

Philippe studied the color. He opened the door, left, and came back a second later which a strand of Edward's hair color. Edward's original hair color was a muddy brown, with some blond streaks. I know when I describe it, the color seems pretty attractive, but, actually, it really isn't.

"Yes, muchhh bettah." Philippe kissed the dyed hair color and opened the door with his hand. He used his hands to motion me to get out of the room.

"How shall I cut it?" he asked.

"Anything you like. But make it gorgeous."

Philippe nodded.

"Ahhh, I see. Ohh kay. This will take meehh about two houeehhhs."

He quickly went to work. Philippe had a tradition with all his customers. When Philippe cut hair, there would be no mirror in front of the customer and a curtain around Philippe and the customer so others couldn't see the process. Philippe would only show others at the very end. I thought that this would be the reason why Philippe motioned Edward to follow him into the corner furthest back inside the room where there was a curtain hanging around. I had two free hours on my hands. What should I do? I guess I'll just shop around a bit. Maybe buy Edward some more clothes for his "new look."

I exited out of the barber shop and entered the mall. The first sign I saw was "50% off sale at Nordstrom!" Although I knew I had enough money to buy the entire mall, let alone the clothes, I thought it would be a good idea to look in the men's wear section to find something for Edward.

I walked toward the big department store. My hands felt so free without carrying all those shopping bags around. I had an urge to hunt. You know, eat animals? I shouldn't though, this was a bad sign. And besides, I just hunted the day before yesterday (yes, sometimes I do skip school to hunt.) I sighed. No matter how dearly I wished Edward to be the best that he could be, this BAM thing was really getting tiring. I mean, there's so much more than you think. And when you think you're satisfied, you're not, and you want more. I sighed again, and thought of all the things that I still had to do. I refreshed that mental checklist from my brain and added some more activities.

_Workout. Two hours. (I got my abs in about an hour. Vampires grow muscles way faster than humans.)_

_Body tone. (Yes, vampires were supposed to be white, but Edward was extra white. Just a little hint of sun on his skin would make him look so much better.)_

_Hair removal. (Yes, I know that men aren't "supposed" to remove their leg hair and arm hair and "other" hair, but, Edward had a little bit too much, and so it would do him some good to remove the jungle that he's been growing in.)_

_Girl's Opinion (You see, I know this place where you enter and "girls" are waiting for you, giving you their opinion on your "stuff" not to mention getting paid for it. Maybe I should take Edward to one of these places.;)) _

I registered my mind to remember all these steps and then stepped inside Nordstrom. I went down the escalator to the men's section to check if there were any clothes for Edward.

"Hey." Someone said.

I thought she was talking to someone else, so I ignored the greeting.

"Hey," she said again.

I turned around. Rosalie, who also goes to my and Edward's school (Twilight High), was standing right next to me.

**(I know right now, you're probably all like OMG, its ROSALIE CULLEN! But, sadly no. Right now, remember that Rosalie, Alice, and Bella are all humans. Only Edward and Emmett are vampires)**

"Oh, hey Rose." I replied. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, I don't know, just shopping around."  
"In the men section?"

"No, not really. Just had to use the restroom.

"The men's restroom?"  
"No, the woman is also on this floor."

"No, it isn't."

"Uh, yes Emmett, it is."

She pointed to a faraway door. Of course, a normal human could never see that far, but it was fairly easy for me to see that the sign said "Woman's Lounge".

"Yes, but uh, it says woman's lounge, not woman's restroom."

"There are bathrooms in the lounge."

"Uh, no there isn't."

"Uh, yes there is."

"How much do you want to bet?"  
"One hundred bucks."

Just then I heard a young woman flushing a toilet inside the restroom. I immediately knew I was wrong. I thought of undoing the bet, but I had the money anyway, and I liked the girl, so I decided just to go along with the story.

We walked across the department store to the Woman's Lounge. She opened the door just a little bit for me to see inside. Indeed, there were a row of toilets.

"Okay, you win." I handed her a hundred bucks from my wallet.

"Thanks. I needed this." She smiled. "By the way, where's Edward?"

"I'm giving him a makeover. You know, hair, clothes, everything. He's getting his hair done right now."

"Edward. A makeover? He's already super hot. But I guess he would look better with a haircut and some new clothes."

I checked my watch. It's been one hour and forty five minutes since I left the barber shop.

"Hey, he'll be done soon. Do you want to come see his new look?"

"Sure."


End file.
